A Netorare

(相关资料图)

B Sec: Mr. President, President Yoon and his wife have arrived and he would like to join you to talk about something that hasn’t been discussed on the agenda.

总统先生，尹锡悦总统和他的夫人已经到了，说是要讨论议程上的事项

B: What? Just tell him to wait, I need to play some games with my pals.

啥？叫他等等吧，我需要先跟我的朋友们打几把

Sec: But sir, he has been waited for 3 hours now.

但是总统先生，他已经在外面等了三个小时了

B: ugh… alright, bring him in, oh, and his wife as well.

唉……行吧，把他带进来，还有他的老婆

B Artificial Individual (AI)

T: Hey who the hell is this guy? His name is, Yoon? Do you guys know him? If no one knows I am kicking him.

嘿这B是谁啊？这个叫……尹啥的，有谁认识他吗？如果没有的话我踢了啊

B: Yea, he is my guest, the president of South Korea

我认识他，这是我的宾客，韩国总统

T: Is he even qualified to party with us?

他配和我们玩吗？

B: I said no to him for like a million times, but he is in our congress building now. He begged us to play with him for one game, I cannot refuse that request.

我已经拒绝他不知道多少次了，但他现在不是来国会大厦了嘛，他求着我要跟我们一起玩，我不好再拒绝了

T: What a spineless human being. That’s why I always like North-Korea and Kim-Jong-Un more. At least they are the master of their own.

真是个没骨气的东西，这就是为什么我更喜欢朝鲜和三胖，至少他们是他们不到处认主人

B: His wife is kinda hot though.

但他老婆挺hot的

O: I didn’t realize that you can still perform toward a woman, Joe.

我不知道你现在还能对正常年纪的女人感兴趣，登子

T: You know that his wife is a creature made of silicon gel, hyaluronan and botox, right? She is basically half human and half chemicals.

你知道他的妻子是一个由硅凝胶、透明质酸和肉毒杆菌组成的生物，对吗？她基本上是一半是人，一半是化学物

B: Just start the game Donald, this is a matter of international diplomacy.

别说了，开吧川宝，这事关国际外交

Y: Hello, Mr. president, on behalf of the people of Republic of Korea, I am honored to become a part of this great team, we shall achieve so many great things together, including a decisive victory.

您好，总统先生，我谨代表大韩民国人民，很荣幸能成为这个伟大团队的一员，我们将一起实现许多伟大的事情，包括这场决定性的胜利

T: Yeah yeah yeah, yadi yadi yada, cut the crap, and don’t fucking feed alright?

行行行，别扒拉了，别送人头就行

C The Law of the Jungle

0700 ks

B: I’m coming.

我来了

T: Chen’s here.

陈在这

B: Barack, kill steal is not so funny.

巴马，抢人头没意思啊

O: When you deal 200 plus damage, it is not called kill steal, it’s called the strong fucks the small.

我打了200多伤害，这能叫抢人头吗？这叫弱肉强食

T: Barack is right. When you failed in the primary election to a crazy wench like Clinton in 2016, it is not called you lost the presidential run.

巴马是对的，就跟登子你在2016年的党内初选里输给希拉里的时候一样，你也不算是输了总统竞选

D The Great Wall

0845 0910

O: This doom is level 6. 

这Doom6级了

T: We are not afraid of him.

不带怕的好吧

O: Oh, he doomed me. Help.

卧槽，他大我了，救

T: Barack, trust your friend from the alien party.

巴马，要相信你的异党朋友

O: Nice block. Is this like how you blocked those Mexicans at the borders?

挡的好啊，你在边境那是不是也是这样挡着那些墨西哥人的？

T: I can’t tell if this is a fake compliment or what, but I’ll take that.

我不知道你是不是真心在夸我，但我接受你的恭维

O: Sorry, it’s a fake compliment, your wall project is dogshit, it’s never gonna work.

不好意思，我确实不是真心的，你的边境墙工程太垃圾了，而且永远都不会成功的

T: Joe probally got his powders from a Mexican dealer named Tuco Salamanca or some shit, that is because you guys are not determined to bar these illegal immigrants like I do, but there’s no time to discuss my great project, let’s fight back.

登子很可能是从一个叫屠库·萨拉曼加还是啥的墨西哥毒贩那里得到他的魔法粉末，这都是因为你们没有像我一样决心阻止这些非法移民，但先不讨论我的伟大工程了，先把这b干了

B: What?

啥？

E Hippie Era

1215 1230 

O: They are killing our boy, help him.

他们在干我们的弟兄，快去帮帮他

B: I’m here too. No one can kill our boy.

我也来了，没有人可以欺负我们的小朋友

O: Wow, three man split earth from Joe? What year is this? 1972?

啊？登子踩了三个？这是几几年？1972年吗？

Y: Gentlemen, my boys are helping too. (no one gives a fuck)

先生们，我的弟兄也在帮忙

B: This reminds me of my glory. In 1972 I was the senator of Delaware, one of the youngest senators of the US history.

这让我想到了我的光辉岁月。在1972年我是特拉华的参议员，美国史上最年轻的参议院之一。

T: Now you are the oldest person on earth, and running our great nation, what a tragedy for United States and the entire world.

选择你是世界上最老的人了，并且还在当政，美国和世界有你这样的人真完蛋。

F Exodus

2405 2420

O: What is this ice path, again! 

这啥呀？

T: Bristle runs into my ice path, all according to my great plan.

钢背跑进我的冰里了，一切都在计划之中。

Y: Mr. Obama, I am helping. (No one gives a fuck)

奥巴马先生，我也在帮忙。

B: You are such a hypocrite. In bible, "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor." - Exodus 20:16

你真是个伪君子。在《出埃及记》20:16中说道：“你不可作假见证陷害人。”

T: Sorry. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law.

对不起，洗去我一切的罪孽，洗净我的罪孽。求你保守我远离诡诈；求你恩待我，将你的律法教导我。

O: Donald, you are kinda scared me.

川宝，你有点吓到我了。

B: You didn’t enter a cult, right?

你没进邪教对吧？

G Stump

3158

O: I stunned this doom.

末日被我晕了

T: Wait my ice path.

等我的冰

O: Dude, you are so SHORT!、

兄弟你也太短了

T: This hero runs so slow!

这英雄跑太慢了

O: I know why you married three times.

我现在知道你为什么离婚了3次了

H Boar Lives Matter (BLM)

3430 - 3610 (快进)

(3458 - 3610) 

O: Are we going in or not?

我们到底上不上

B: I don’t know, Donald what do you think?

我不知道，川宝你怎么看？

Y: I’m right here gentlemen.

先生们，我在这呢

T: Just get back first, I’m coming.

先跑吧，我在来的路上

O: I’m tired of getting chased by this fucking boar the entire game! 

我真是受够被这只猪追一整场了。

T: Is boar the nickname for cops? 

”猪”是条子的黑话吗？

O: You just can’t have enough racial jokes, can you?

你永远都有玩不完的种族笑话是吧。

T: There are three things that America needs the most right now, jobs, food, and prison space.

美国现在最需要三个东西，工作、食物还有监狱位置

O: Yeah we need to make more space for your orange ass.

我们是需要更多的监狱位置把你这个红脖子关起来

B: Hahaha. Get owned Donald.

哈哈，说话啊川宝？

T: What are you laughing at Joe? You think this is funny? Innocent citizens like me do not belong in the cells! 

登子你笑什么？你觉得这很好笑吗？像我一样无辜的市民不应该被关起来。

B: Tell that to the juries, okay?

你可以和陪审团说这个话

O: Guys I’m going in.

兄弟们我上了

B: Good luck with the SEAL operation, Barack.

祝你的海豹突击队的潜行任务好运，巴马

O: Enemies spotted, oh shit, request immediate reinforcement, my cover has been compromised.

敌人发现，请求紧急增援，我的掩护已暴露。

T: I got you, lil bro.

我在呢小兄弟

B: Nice ice path.

冰的好啊

T: Kill them all!

把他们都淦了

Zechariah

Y: Good sirs, here!

皇军，在这边。

T: Holy shit, the demon is here, I don’t wanna go to hell. Joe, go get this Doom.

卧槽，恶魔来了，我不想下地狱。登子，去淦了这个末日

B: I can’t, I have a feeling that you are gonna throw me under the bus.

我不敢，我觉得你要把我卖了

Y: I need help, misters.

我需要一点帮助，先生们。

T: Don’t worry Joe, if you die here, he’ll just take you to where you belong. Now probably is the moment for you to repent.

登子别慌，如果你在这死了，他会带你去应该去的地方。现在是时候忏悔了。

O: I think I will survive, just get back guys.

我觉得我不会死，先跑吧兄弟们

B: There’s no fucking way I’m gonna repent Donald, see how I cooked his demon ass? Because God is with me, Amen! (Chase down Doom)

我肯定是不会忏悔的，你看到我怎么把这个恶魔打爆的吗？因为神和我在一起，阿门。

T: Holy crap, what have you done that even the demon is afraid of you?

卧槽，你干了啥让恶魔都怕你的

Y: I sacrificed myself, happy to see you are all alive.

我捐了，开心你们都活着

O/B/T: Shut the fuck up!

闭肛！闭嘴！你能闭嘴吗？

I Cost of America

4414

O: Yo Joe we need to retreat.

登子我们要走了

B: Okay.

好

你TM往哪里走呢？你是不是经常这样啊？在森林里迷路？忘记你演讲内容？

B: Man I thought Barack was with me!

我以为巴马在我旁边！

O: I’m invis your old fool, now you gonna cost us the game!

我TM隐身呢！我们现在要输了

T: It’s not his first time, he costed us America already. 

也不是他第一次了，他已经把美国输了。

J Fair-Weather Friends

4740 4920

O: Guys, why is every game ended up with us defending highground forever?

兄弟们，为什么每局比赛我们都在高地上守一辈子啊

T: ‘Cause I’m the only one that does the heavy lifting, okay? And Sleepy Joe brought another burden on our team! I had to carry your Democrats’ asses before, and now I have to carry this Korean dude?

因为就我在干脏活累活啊。瞌睡乔又带了个废物来。我现在又要带你们两个民主党废物又要带一个韩国废物。

B: Be nice, Donald, he’s a friend.

川宝，你能好好说话吗？他是个朋友。

T: Joe, honestly, we are probably the only real friends you ever had in your life, other people only became your friends because they wanted something from you.

登子，说个实话，我们可能是你唯二的朋友，其他人和你做朋友是因为他们想从你身上得到什么东西。

O: Friends of benefits.

酒肉朋友

T: Exactly. We never ever wanted anything from you, Joe, and you know it.

没错。我们不图你什么，登子，这个你知道的。

B: Yes, I do, thanks guys.

我懂，谢谢兄弟们。

T: And I don’t know what do you want from that guy, just promise me, don’t touch the kids, behave, okay?

并且我是不知道你想从这人身上得到什么，不过你得发誓，别碰小孩，好好表现可以吗？

B: I won’t, wait what the fuck?

我不会，等下，啥？

O: Focus guys, can we chase?

集中注意力兄弟们，我们能不能追啊

T: Yeah yeah yeah, let’s go.

可以可以，冲冲冲

O: Ah fuck, help!

卧槽，救救救

O: I’m buying back, don’t let them escape!

我买了，别让他们跑了

Y: Right behind you, mr. president.

总统先生，我在你身后呢。

T: There are three presidents, who the hell are you talking to?

这有三个总统，你TM和哪个说话呢。

Y: Sorry, Mr. Trump.

不好意思，川普先生。

T: You bet your ass you are.

你最好有这个歉意。

T: See this ice path? I’m literally carry your losers right now, and you let me play support every fucking game? I’m talking to you Joe, next time, let me play the fucking mid!

看到这个冰了吗。我真是扛着你们走啊，然后你们让我每把都打辅助？登子我在和你说话呢，下次我来打中！

O: Now is the time to go offensive, get the Rosh first.

现在我们是时候进攻了，打肉先。

K Hebrews 9:22

6000 6200 end

O: Yo watch this queen, she’s gonna jump in.

注意这个女王，她要跳进来了。

Y: Yes Mr. Obama.

好的，奥巴马先生

T: Dude’s a fricking ass kisser for sure.

这人真TM是个舔狗啊

O: Come guys, save our carry!

兄弟们来啊，救大哥

B: Coming in hot. 

正在冲呢

T: Be careful Joe, do not get fucked.

登子注意点，别被淦了。

B: I won’t, I feel like I’m invincible.

没事，我觉得我无敌的。

T: What the fuck Joe? Why are you talking like some random dude that dies in the first scene of the movie?

有病吧你？为什么你说话像一个电影里第一幕就没的小人物？

O: They bought back, we need to get back a little bit.

他们买活了，我们得后退点了

B: This is my moment to shine! I’ll carry this game.  

这是我的秀场了！我来carry！

B: What the fuck is this? The Gatlin?

这TM是啥啊，加特林吗？

T: Bro… What did I tell you? You got cocky and you got fucked. And they killed your little pet.

兄弟我刚和你说什么了？你瞎冲然后就没了。他们把你的宠物也淦了。

B: Shhh, guys, he is still in my room.

小点声兄弟们，他还在房间里面呢。

T: Oh shit my bad. President Yoon, thanks for your sacrifice for the United States of America!

卧槽我的。尹总统，感谢你对美利坚合众国的献身。

T: (trump dies) I’m buying back.

我买了

Y: No problem. It is my honor!

没问题！为美利坚合众国献身是我的荣誉！

T: You know what, Yoon, we might grant you the U.S. citizenship ‘cause I feel like you love our country more than most of the Americans do, especially the liberals. 

小尹你知道吗，我们可能给你个美国国籍因为你比很多美国人还爱美国。反正是比那些民主党人更爱国。

Y: That is… very good! Mr. Trump!

那太好了，川普先生

B: Loving your country is not wearing those stupid MAGA hats and running around like a motherfucking hill billy okay? We all have our own version of patriotism.

爱国不是戴着MAGA的帽子然后到处乱窜好吗？每个人都有自己的爱国方法。

O: The queen is dead, can we turn?

女王没了，我们能反打吗？

T: Yeah yeah wait for me, and don’t let Sleepy Joe die agian.

可以等我，别让瞌睡乔又死了。

B: I’m alright guys, no need to worry.

我没事的，别担心我

O: Just kite them, this BB is just like a fucking Floridian wildman running around with his dick swinging.

放他们风筝，这个钢背像一个到处甩自己鞭的佛罗里达野人

T: Eww Barack that’s disgusting.

巴马这也太恶心了

B: I’m strong guys!

我很强

O: Kill the Doom he got no buy back.

把末日淦了，他没买的

B: I’m holding the front line guys, fear not

我顶着前面呢，别怕

O: What the fuck are you holding against? Come back here!

你顶啥了？过来啊。

T: Kite him, and wait for Drow. Joe, get your ass back here!

放他风筝，等下小黑。登子，你TM回来啊。

T: How the fuck can you miss that stomp, he’s even moving slower than your old ass.

你是怎么能踩空的，他比你跑的还慢

B: My bad, I’m sorry alright? I’ll cover you guys.

我的锅好吧？我掩护你们。

O: Hold the line, Drow is coming.

守住阵线，小黑来了。

T: Kill this motherfucker! Nice Job!

把他淦了！打得不错啊兄弟们。

American Pie

O: There we fucking go!

干得漂亮

T: Another great victory for America!

又是一场献给美国的伟大胜利！

Y: And Korea!

还有韩国

T: No one gives a poo poo about Korea, okay? You are ruinning the moment.

没人鸟韩国好吗？你把开心的时刻都毁了。

B: Come on Donald, that is just so mean.

川宝别这样，你这太刻薄了

T: What? At least I’m being honest alright? You got a problem with it?

啥？我至少很诚实吧。你对这个有问题？

O: Good game guys, wanna go again?

打的挺好的兄弟们，还来吗？

T: Yeah sure, but you know what? I need to get this bootlicker out of my fucking party. Sayonara!

可以啊，不过等下。我得先把这个舔狗踢了，撒哟拉拉。

B: That’s Japanese Donald.

川宝，你说的是日语

T: Yeah whatever.

哦，所以呢

B: I kinda like that guy, he sang me American Pie, no one had ever sung me a song before.

T: That’s fucking pathetic Joe.